Being Present

  • Being 100% present is about all of you being engaged with whoever you’re with – and being in the moment.
  • It is NOT necessarily a 100% focus on the person you’re with at the time. This may drive them away or creep them out.
  • It IS about learning how to calm and soothe yourself so you can:
    Fully listen to others
    Think and respond.
    Connect on a deeper level.
  • For the rest of the day, try these:
    Focus on your breath. A trick to dealing with anger and stress: see if you’re holding your breath. If you are, finish letting it in or out, and focus on good, consistent breathing for a few minutes.
    Focus on what’s right in front of you. Or around you. Or on you. Listen to the sounds around you. Feel the fabric of your clothes and focus on how they feel. Use the feeling of the ground below you, or the sun or rain and how they feels on your skin to connect with the present. If you’re walking, find your feet and stay where your feet are.
    Pick up the vibe from other present people.
  • So try this at home:
    Practice becoming more aware of your own level of presence as you go throughout your day. Make a point of checking in with yourself.
    When you talk to someone on the phone, try to focus on their words exclusively and don’t do anything else while talking.
    When you engage with someone in person, practice being still and listening. You don’t have to engage and respond right away, after all you’re not in a tennis match with them – you’re in a conversation. Silence and pauses are okay.
    Don’t walk away in the middle of a conversation. In other words, don’t end the conversation prematurely. Make sure the other person feels they got their point across and feels heard.
    Instead of multitasking, embrace the idea of sequential-tasking. Whatever it is you’re doing or involved in, commit completely to it. Then disconnect and move to the next thing and fully connect there.
    Try being present with someone else in 100% silence – for example, take a walk – without either of you saying a word, while being present the whole time.